I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Randomize
