So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Randomize
