Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
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