Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
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