Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
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