No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
