apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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