you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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