is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
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Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
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The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
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