Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Success! We fucked roommates!
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
