i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
