Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
