I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
