3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Randomize
