And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
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