guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Randomize
