apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Randomize
