Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
