Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
