I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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