the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Randomize
