I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Randomize
