If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Randomize
