We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
