Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
