Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
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