you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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