It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
