is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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