hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
can u get pink eye on your cock?
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
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