omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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