Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
50% drunk capacity currently
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
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Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
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