Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
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