so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
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