Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Randomize
