I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
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