How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
