And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
