Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
