would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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