was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
