Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
I queefed so loud it echoed.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
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