hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Randomize
