Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
