Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
