I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
