So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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