I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
