Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
