i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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