I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Dick very happy bro
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
