do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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