I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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