it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
