True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
