He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
