Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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