Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Operation Purity has been aborted
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Randomize
