First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize