You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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