Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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