Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
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I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
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my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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