Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Randomize
