i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Send help, water and tortillas.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Randomize