just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize