i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize
