Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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