Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
