Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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