so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
