I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Randomize
