check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Randomize
